Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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