Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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