I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
