finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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