hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
