Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
