Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
