Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
