He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
