Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We have started to decorate penises.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
