my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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