The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
