i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I stole a fireplace last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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