I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
