So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
