I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
