that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
