i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
