I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
