DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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