i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize