he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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