I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
