becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
