what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
