I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
