I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
