dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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