Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
