I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
