Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
