I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
