Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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