There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
