no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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