I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh god the rape fog is back!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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