I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
