Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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