he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
nutella sex= disaster
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
