He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
