One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
