Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How does one acquire holy water?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
