Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
