That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
