Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
bring money and cleavage
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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