I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
