cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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