dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
