Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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