So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
