Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
