So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
only you would photoshop your dick
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize