Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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