Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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