you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
