I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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