you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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