You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
