u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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