Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize