I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
