He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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