i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
