I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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